Posted on March 9th, 2009 by admin

My friend stained my bag?

Category: Etiquette, Tags: , ,

*Holly*Tyler* asked:


Ok, I let my friend borrow my Vera Bradly tote for a month. (It’s the pink elephants version, by the way) When I got it back, some of the thread was loose so maybe 10 diamonds had to be sewed back on, and I did sew them back on. But now on the interior of the tote, which was apretty pink, has black thread showing in it. Also, the elephants on the bottom and also the very bottom turned yellow, and the bag is also yellow inside on the bottom, and the part of the bag towards the bottom. It’s an expensive tote, and even after I washed it in the washing machine I couldn’t get the yellow out. Should I ask my friend to replace it?
She told me her sister accidentally sprayed hairspray in it. Does anyone know how i can get that stain out?
The diamonds I’m talking about is the quilted pattern which looks likes diamond shape…and I meant to spell it Bradley it is a real Vera Bradley, Lynne, not 20 or 30 dollars it was much more. I found your answer very rude.

16 Responses to “My friend stained my bag?”

Glinda W on March 11th, 2009 8:49 pm:

Never a loaner or a borrower be, unless you told her if it’s damaged she has to replace it then your out of luck….never loan anything…that’s the quickest Way to end a friendship.

shasha m on March 12th, 2009 9:50 am:

No. Just don’t lend her stuff again.

mxcnchoc on March 14th, 2009 9:18 pm:

you just learned a lesson to never let people borrow things.. when you know they are too broke or pety to replace it.. cds, bag, man .. nothing!

pdevans1963@rogers.com on March 17th, 2009 11:16 pm:

no you shouldnt. is it unuseable now?

you can mention how you cant use it any more since it is stained and maybe she’ll own up. but how can you prove it was her who did it? it really depends which you value more her friendsip or the bag. if you can keep both then your answer should be obvious

I Love Howie Carr on March 18th, 2009 11:16 am:

You took the chance when you lent it to her. I would advise you not to loan something, especially for such a long period of time, unless you won’t be bothered if it doesn’t come back in perfect condition. Chalk it up to a lesson learned, and drop it.

faeriedust115 on March 19th, 2009 6:38 am:

ask her in a friendly tone waht she did with the tote? pee on it? and laff it off
if she gets the message..im sure she’ll apologize

Keely H on March 20th, 2009 6:42 pm:

god that was a long description, for a bag…………. take one of hers instead…..

kincaid1 on March 23rd, 2009 4:42 am:

I was told once when I borrowed someone’s luggage that they (the lender) felt if they were lending me something they should have the state of mind it may not come back in the same condition or ever come back at all.

When you loan things out, you need to think - what will I feel like if it’s altered or if I don’t get it back. If you don’t care, then lend it out. If you care, say no.

wat3rh0rs3 on March 25th, 2009 9:01 am:

Poor you, I’m sure you loaned it because your friend admired it a lot and you wanted to share your fortunate posession, but let it be a lesson to you not to loan posessions like that again and just let her know that she has upset you and see if she offers to go some way to compensate you, if she’s not interested or deny’s she stained it, you know not to trust her ever again.

chiliswoman on March 28th, 2009 7:14 am:

She didn’t take good care of the bag. But it wasn’t a new bag, so she shouldn’t have to replace it. I would ask her if she knew what the stain was because you need to get it professionally cleaned since it won’t come out. Hopefully she will know what it is and offer to pay for the cleaning.

If you loan expensive things to people, you should let them know what your expectations are in terms of what condition you expect it to be returned in. A bag is something people use and out things in - accidents happen.

Sounds like you shouldn’t lend things out to people. The yellow is inside and the bottom - neither very obvious.

Jennifer on March 31st, 2009 3:21 am:

You can mention that you are upset about the quality of the bag once it was returned to you. Now, the inside of the bag is going to have wear and tear. I’m sure those diamonds weren’t put on as tight as you thought either. The stain is what gets me though. If you are absolutely sure the stain occurred during the time it was with her, you can bring it up in conversation. However, even if you ask her to replace it, don’t expect her to. If she spilled something in the bag, knew it, and didn’t tell you, she’s just going to dodge paying you back for a new bag.

Sorry, but this is probably one friend you just can’t trust with your stuff. I have learned over the years that no matter how close you are to friends, or even family, if you have something that is really special to you, you just don’t let another human being touch it. Even if they took the best care in the world, they can’t plan for the little accidents that can occur.

Edited to add:
Wait. Her sister sprayed hair spray in it? I thought your FRIEND was supposed to be using it, not her sister. If she let her sister borrow it, and her sister ruined it, yes, definitely tell her she needs to refund it. That’s rude.

Here is a link that may help you remove the hair spray, but since you already washed the bag, the stain may have already set in by now.

Lynne W on April 4th, 2009 12:32 pm:

I don’t believe that your tote bag was as expensive as you would like us to believe.
First of all, “diamonds” are not sewn on.
Cheap sequins are sewn on.
Expensive designer bags, with or without “pink elephants”, are not machine washable.
Isn’t Vera’s last name spelled ” Bradley”?
I’m guessing that you’ve lent out a $20-$30. bag and it got ruined. Stop lending things out that your friend can go to Walmart and buy for herself.

keri on April 7th, 2009 3:27 am:

You should have taken your bag to a skilled person who could have restored it. And why on earth would you ever lend a bag with Diamonds on it to anyone?

Seriously, if your friend is not a million times more important than any stupid bag, then, I hope your bag will be there for your when life’s real tragedies kick in - like when a loved one dies. I’m sure your bag will know all the right things to say & will hold you in its arms and comfort you, etc.

Consumerism really wreaks havoc with people’s character.

D J on April 7th, 2009 1:51 pm:

Valuable lesson! Do not lend stuff you care about. You loaned it now you have to decide. Ask you friend to replace it & risk lossing the friendship or let it go.

pisa De pie on April 9th, 2009 9:16 pm:

Try one of the spray on stain removers…
but be careful as the colors might fade.

Don’t lend out your good stuff in the future.

Traveller on April 12th, 2009 6:54 am:

I’d say you’ve learned a lesson. Don’t loan personal things like that out. Something like that is a LUXURY, not a necessity for anyone to borrow. She already knows the bag is ruined, I wouldn’t ask her to replace it, but if she doesn’t offer, then you know what kind of friend she is..